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Dominant 7th #9

Registered: 10-2003
Posts: 2200
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I know I'm a Redneck if....


The following are some excerpts from posts I made to a Hammond Organ forum about the modifications I made to the existing stand, so I could sit instead of stand, while playing. You may enjoy some of these:

Post #1

From: "John OFlaherty" <b3burner@a...>
Date: Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:47 pm
Subject: I know I'm a "Redneck" if.....

...I use 6-ton rated automobile jack stands to hold up my chopped
Hammond!!

Try not to laugh too hard, but this is my latest brainchild for
solving my problem.

If you recall, I posted last week that I'm tired of having to play
the organ standing up on the welded 26½ inch high steel stand that
puts the lower manual keys 37½ inches above the ground. I want to
be
able to sit and I need a stand with legs no taller than 19" to
accomplish this. Seems easy enough...right? Well not really.

Music stores had some decent stands with good load limits, but the
lowest they would go is 24".

Talked to a welder that said he could cut my existing stand down the
7½ necessary inches to take it down to the desired 19" above the
ground. But he wanted $200 for doing the work, and I'm one hell of a
stingy cheap-skate that releases bills from my wallet "kicking and
screaming", and I just didn't feel right about that. What if his cut
was uneven?

So instead, I went to AutoZone (an American auto parts chain), and
bought 4 jack stands at $30 a pair, and I'm fixing to get them under
the chop where I want them and then let it down.

Because jack stands are typically designed to anchor to car
undercarriages at specific points, and not take the dispersed weight
of wide flat surfaces, the tops of the jack stand are narrower than I
would like. I don't want them digging into the base of the organ
console, so to play it safe, I've also bought a plank of 1" thick
plywood which I plan on cutting into 5" x 17" sections to span the
distances of the jackstands (front-to-back on each side), and that
will hopefully disperse the weight.

This probably has to be the most creative uses of jackstands that
anyone has ever heard of, and I'm either ingenious or a damn fool
(time will tell which one I really am!!), but it will save me some
money and hopefully accomplish my goal.

I'll let you know if it works, or if the whole organ rolls over and
falls on top of me.

Now excuse me while I park my car on the front lawn and crack open a
beer and watch my monster truck ralley!!

-- John "Hatfield" O'Flaherty
============================================
Post #2

From: "John OFlaherty" <b3burner@a...>
Date: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:23 pm
Subject: My Car Jackstand Hammond -- An Update

Well, twenty-four hours later, and the four jackstands are under the
chopped Hammond.

I cut two 5" x 17" pieces of ¾" thick plywood to go between
the stands and the base of the Hammond, and it seems to add a bit
more weight dispersement.

Well, it holds.....that having been said, I wouldn't try any Jon Lord
or Keith Emerson antics on it, as those boards will slide from
between the console base and the tops of the jackstands, but just
placing gentle pressure on it from front-to-back/ side-to-side, it
doesn't sway like my steel standing stand did.
[The cross member of that stand was designed to flex, and with a
relatively high center of gravity, it amplified the effect.]
This feels more solid to the ground, just so long as I don't do
anything really stupid to knock it off.

My first thoughts were, "dang, that's low to the ground". After 3
years of seeing it at standing height, it almost looks like a
coloring table for toddlers in a preschool, but that's just because
I've never seen it that low before. The tops of the keys on the
lower manual are exactly 29½" inches off the ground...pretty much
right where I want it. I can set the e-piano board atop the organ
above and behind the drawbars and still be able to comfortably reach
it.

The second thing I noticed is, now that it's lower to the ground, it
looks longer from left to right, and wider from front to back. What
is it about reducing an object's height above the ground, that makes
it's length and width look sleeker?

For the first time since I bought it in Dec. 2001, I can actually sit
at the Hammond and relax while I play, without standing for hours on
end, with all that pressure on my ankles, knees and lowerback.....All
in all, I'm happy with my McGyver job.

Now, on the bad side....the jackstands do look tacky in the
livingroom. My wife is a saint for putting up with my hairbrain
ideas. The only saving grace is that the organ is black tolex, and
so are the jackstands. At some point, I'm thinking of going down to
a fabric store and buying some sort of opaque, black material to hang
from the plywood base at the bottom of the organ, and drape over the
jackstands in order to hide them.

The other problem I realize I have now is that, no longer benefiting
from the steel runners that I had at the base of my standing stand, I
can no longer slide the organ to and away from the wall (something I
could do myself if I had to) to get to the back and oil it, and/or
any other maintenance that comes up. Now, I'll just have to get help
to lift it completely off the stands, place it on the floor, move the
stands, and then put it back on them in the new location.

This may, and I hope is, a semi-temporary solution to the problem. I
hope to one day find a steel stand with legs 19" off the ground, and
if it's not prohibitively expensive I'll get it. But for now, I'm
proud of my efforts, and just thought I'd share my adventures with
you all.

-- John O'Flaherty
===========================================
Reply #1/Post #3

From: "John OFlaherty" <b3burner@a...>
Date: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Subject: Re: My Car Jackstand Hammond -- An Update

--- In [email protected], "jjmcs49" <jjmcs49@y...> wrote:
>
> Sorry, but I gotta ask. Was saving ~ $125 really worth the
> aggravation you went through to do this and will be putting up with
> for the remaining time you own this organ?
> ------------------------------------------

That is a good question, and my answer is not as confident as I'd
like people to believe....Over the long haul, my answer would have to
be NO. Truth of the matter is it frustrates me to no end that what I
was looking for is not available in stores.

It's a simple enough concept:

Horizontal and vertical tubular steel rails, welded at the corners,
whose height is adjustable (down to 18" ), comes in assorted colors,
with various load limits, locking clamps to secure the load at the
top, and wheels at the bottom should the thing have to be moved.
Simple concept....I invision it in my mind....and they should be as
easy to buy as a container of milk, yet strangely, they are not.

I never said I was stunningly impressed with the jackstands...

[IT LOOKS LIKE "JON LORD GOT A GIG IN A NASCAR PIT"]!!!

...but they have solved my primary concern. I can now play for more
than two hours without my back and my ankles hurting. And that was
the one thing that got me looking at this in the first place. So
from that standpoint alone, it accomplished the goal....but I agree
it was not done gracefully nor artistically....nor professionally.

Again my wife is a saint for allowing an organ with jackstands in the
living room. It's the first thing people will see when they walk in
our home. I'm sure one of my friends with the quick wit will make
some sort of comment like, "Be sure to resurface the rotors before
you install those new brake pads.", but oh well, the price I pay for
my unorthodox methodology.

Eventually when I have the time to rethink this whole thing, I'll
probably make a better attempt to do it right.

(The jackstands can always be sold at a Classic Car swamp meet).

Last edited by B3Burner, 26/10/2004, 7:03


---
John O'Flaherty

"If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway." --Murphy's Law
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ivo Profile
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Purple fan

Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 258
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if....


Do you have any picture of this?
  emoticon

---
 
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Dominant 7th #9

Registered: 10-2003
Posts: 2200
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if....


quote:

ivo wrote:

Do you have any picture of this?
  emoticon

Yes, now I do. See below:


Last edited by B3Burner, 1/11/2004, 5:27


---
John O'Flaherty

"If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway." --Murphy's Law
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tamadam2 Profile
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Purple fan

Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 625
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if....


Nice story though B3Burner, it will be interesting to see the pics if you do manage to get them up sometime.
30/10/2004, 7:53 Link to this post Send Email to tamadam2   Send PM to tamadam2
 
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Dominant 7th #9

Registered: 10-2003
Posts: 2200
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if.... ---> NEW PICS UP


For those of you who wanted to see a new picture of the Hammond on the jackstands, this is one taken Saturday morning October 30th, 2004:

Standing at Hammond

Last edited by B3Burner, 1/11/2004, 5:24


---
John O'Flaherty

"If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway." --Murphy's Law
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LottomagicZ4941 Profile
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Purple fan

Registered: 09-2004
Posts: 189
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if....


I like your sigemoticon ""If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway." --Murphy's Law"

Nothing wrong with Lynard Skanard(SP?) and Motley Hatchet. I think the southern rock camp also likes Ted Nugent and Nazareth.

Red Neck Social Tips!

General
1. Never take a beer to an interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral.

Dining Out

1. When decanting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.


Entertaining in your home

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.


Personal Hygiene

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in private using one's own truck keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.

3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.


Dating (outside the family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


Theater Etiquette

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.


Weddings

1. Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


Driving Etiquette

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession.

Found on
http://com4.runboard.com/bsoapinup.fletschat.t91

_________________
Lotto
http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/s.cgi?welcome-344
MagicZ4941A


---
Which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.f1.t83
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Mofo Lives Profile
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Purple fan

Registered: 09-2004
Posts: 421
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Re: I know I'm a Redneck if....


Do you reside in FL? If so where?
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